[Monday, June 30, 2008]

Learning to let go is never easy. Admit to loose and have to let go is even more difficult. Life is indeed unfair; mostly we are getting of what we didn’t intended to have, while things that we actually want seems far beyond reach.

What should I do? Working my best to turn around the situation or simply learn to accept whatever life has given to me?



* Posted by 3k4 @ 11:19 PM *

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[Wednesday, June 11, 2008]

Just eleven days passing and it feels like forever already. Some things are quite exciting, but mostly the pressure just too much; I feel like getting back in the box again, doing a rat race, keep running without going anywhere. For someone who had felt the joyful of freedom and unattached hierarchy, this is very stressful.

Yet, to think about returning is also not an option now. Place that I just left, that I care for so long with my own hand, that I feel so sad to lose about, now becomes quite relieving to be left behind. Something has turned horrid that I am grateful for not dealing with it anymore.

Somebody please to help me get out from here. I know that running away is not a solution, in fact it might not be better though, but at least it would be something totally different that I can look forward to with full of excitement.



* Posted by 3k4 @ 10:07 PM *

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[Monday, June 02, 2008]

"Don't worry, everything is going to be okay..."

Thanks, your kind attention is helped a bit to warm my heart. But what is the definition of "okay" anyway? Think that I have lost the meaning of it and don’t know what else to expect now.

"The meaning of 'okay' is simple, it is pretty much depends on what your heart say"

Is it really? Things have gotten be more complicated that I can no longer trust even my own heart. What used to be okay is now no longer okay, and a thing that I am expected is probably not okay at all.

"I am sorry that I cannot yet meet your expectation"

Not yet, means there is a chance even small that you would eventually meet my expectation. Would it be worth waiting? How long do you think that I would or should be waiting then?

"I don’t know dear. I cannot make any promise. I am afraid that it would only hurt you even more"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . *sigh*

There always time when I am questioning myself, my life, and even my own sanity. Now is one of it. Am I incredibly patience or just simply stupid? Who am I kidding anyway?



* Posted by 3k4 @ 10:08 PM *

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