[Sunday, July 31, 2005]

Posting from the Changi airport in Singapore now. My plane just landed and i'm waiting for anoher plane that will take me back home to Indonesia. Still feeling sad a bit. Trying to cheer up by imagining what lies ahead once i get home. Meet families and old friends. Yet the feeling of losing still quite dominated. Can't hold my tears everytime i remember all friends that i left behind in Holland and Wageningen in particular, especially those who has little probability of meeting again due to different country origin *sigh*

Seems like my heard has divided into three pieces in which two of them are broken now. Hopefully the remaining one third will strong enough to help me recover soon.

Missing you all already, each and everyone of you *yes you know who i mean*


* Posted by 3k4 @ 5:23 AM *

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[Friday, July 29, 2005]

Have to leave and being left behind are two the worse feeling in the world. And i experience both at once currently. I have to leave tomorrow, going back to my home country, leaving everything behind, all my memories and beloved friends. Some of my friends are also leave today, leaving me behind to face the grieve of being left even only for a day. Having only one of those feeling is bad enough, but having both at once is even worse i must say .

I'm counting my time, less than 24 hours ahead i'll fly back home. One chapter of my journey has come to an end. I'm now facing the crossroads, need to turn to a different direction with all my friends. Some take the other turns to their own destination, and some remains in the same road without even taking a turn until the time has come for them to take a turn.

Somethings are remain not to be forgotten, and that is how i treasured every moment i spend with every person i met here. Hopefully there would be a chance that we will be in the same road again someday somewhere somehow, or at least being in the same crossroads again later in the future.


* Posted by 3k4 @ 6:46 PM *

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[Tuesday, July 26, 2005]

Everything would be beautiful in time. But why something that has to end seems to be more beautiful and harder to let go?

My life has been turning up side down as long as my staying here. Now the end is about to come. I'll go back home at the end of this week, leaving all my friends and memories behind. I will surely miss Wageningen. Not because of the city as it's only a place, it's the people that matters, the companion that counted.

Time will change, memories may fade away, friends will come and go, but i will always remember this one specific time and place as something in my past that cannot be changed. Something that too beautiful to forget yet seems too short to remain, to good to be true but too fast to be believed, and it is something good but too complicated to understand. It is no longer a question of "is it okay or not" or "is it what i want or not", but it is a question of "do we have a choice?"

And at this moment of my last days, i only have one wish: "if only i had more time...."

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me,
I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so afraid to love you,
but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

(I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachlan)


* Posted by 3k4 @ 3:43 PM *

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[Tuesday, July 05, 2005]

Eveything is completely finished now. My thesis is done and my marks had issued. Now all i have to do is making some arrangement for the diploma or certificate of graduation so what they called. Up to my time to go home, which is still about 3 weeks long, i can relax and enjoy my last moment of staying here.

Starting this month, i had moved to Febi's room since i had terminate mine on behalf of saving and efficiency. I must admit that this is the best decision i've ever made. Not only i could save some money by not renting anymore room for a month, but i could also get the best friends to share all the fun and joy. It's so pity that i just met them when my time here is nearly ended. Surely i wish this would not be the end though. I surely wish that anything we had shared here and now would remain forever.


* Posted by 3k4 @ 7:47 AM *

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