[Sunday, October 31, 2004]

If life is a river and your heart is a boat
And just like a water baby, baby born to float
And if life is a wild wind that blows way on high
And your heart is Amelia dying to fly
Heaven knows no frontiers and I've seen heaven in your eyes

And if life is a bar room in which we must wait'
Round the man with his fingers on the ivory gates
Where we sing until dawn of our fears and our fates
And we stack all the dead men in self addressed crates

In your eyes faint as the singing of a lark
That somehow this black night
Feels warmer for the spark
Warmer for the spark
To hold us 'til the day
When fear will lose its grip
And heaven has its ways
Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes

If your life is a rough bed of brambles and nails
And your spirit's a slave to man's whips and man's jails
Where you thirst and you hunger for justice and right
And your heart is a pure flame of man's constant night

In your eyes faint as the singing of a lark
That somehow this black night
Feels warmer for the spark
Warmer for the spark
To hold us 'til the day when fear will lose its grip
And heaven has its ways
And heaven has its ways
When all will harmonise
And you know what's in our hearts
The dream will realise
Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes
Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes

(Heaven Knows - No Frontiers: THE CORRS)

Just got home from watching The Corrs concert in Rotterdam. Very tired but i felt like i was having fun. The concert was great, their performace could be considered perfect except for the absence of Caroline who was just having a baby girl. And i am truly impressed with one of their song which titled Heaven Knows (No Frontiers). Meaningful lyrics with beautiful melody, not to mention Sharon's voices who sang it solely and accompanied by the single piano played by Jim. Wow...really gripped me off when i heard it. Makes me wonder how one family can be so beautiful and full of talents? Two thumbs for the Corrs.



* Posted by 3k4 @ 6:56 AM *

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[Saturday, October 30, 2004]

Have you ever feel so lucky but unlucky at the same time? Have you ever felt blessed nevertheless cursed? Have you ever feel so determine yet so lost of any way to go? Or have you ever feel so tired and want to stay but life seems to keep pushing you away? If you feel that way, welcome to the club, it's all I feel at this moment. Anyone could tell how to cope with such feelings? Any suggestion would be welcomed....anything....*sigh*.


* Posted by 3k4 @ 7:03 AM *

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[Sunday, October 24, 2004]

Yesterday i went to Amsterdam visiting Tante Juul and met Hilman there. We really had a good time for today and yesterday and i slept nearly in the morning last night. Today i returned to Wageningen at 6 pm and hurried myself to get ready to another dinner with friends at Haarweg. Now i just return home, and again have to prepare the plan fro tomorrow. I'll leave to Amsterdam again, have some date with friends of FEUI'ers and continue with dinner together with Pak Bambang (my Kajur at economics department who's in town that day). Later maybe i'll stay another night away from home to have some more night out with the girls *wink...wink*. Geez....what a weekend! Looks like i'm pretty occupied during my not-so-busy time now *grin*. I feel physically exhausted yet mentally excited. Meeting some friends, especially the old and good ones, are indeed good for our soul


* Posted by 3k4 @ 4:17 AM *

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[Thursday, October 21, 2004]

One of my best friend just told me how I am not as the way I've seen on the surface. It was one honest opinion from a very close friend that within our friendship no filter used any longer. We could freely become ourselves, just the way we are. Still his opinion surprised me. I am quite shock to see how he can guess anything about me so correctly. Am I that obvious?

I read one book that remind me how people could lives in the boundary of lies nowadays. Lies not in the bad terms, but lies on another way. It is how we like to keep something to be our own. Even for some small unimportant stuff, some people would like to keep it themselves. Likewise for big and important stuffs that most people would like to keep it as their privileges. What is the reasoning behind this secrecy attitude? Is it the worry of agony and being hurt if we open up completely? Or is it just our love of being in control? By keeping something ourselves, we could keep the feeling of control since we knew something that others people do not. Whatever answers lies, I can't stop myself wondering. Is it bad to be honest? And is it so bad to let other people know just the way we are? Because I know deep down inside my heart, I would never be ready to be totally honest to be just the way I am, or at least yet, not in the near future.


* Posted by 3k4 @ 4:33 AM *

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[Tuesday, October 19, 2004]

I spent the last weekend at Eindhoven. My friends just moving to the new house, and they arranged some house-warming-welcoming party. It was a big party, almost 50 guests came. Gay-staight-lesbian, asian-european-american, you name it, they're all there *grin*. It always fun to meet new people. And they are nice people indeed. A lot of foods, a lot of drinks, and most of all a lot of talks. It lasted up to 6 am in the morning, then i didn't have to do some Sahur and went to bed directly! It's funny how time really flies when you're having such a fun.

I planned to go home early on Sunday, but since Frank had to do the deejay on Sunday afternoon, he and Ky insisted me to stay until he returned at 4. So i stayed, watched movie with Ky and later we had dinner at this cool restaurant. And what it seems going to be a short dinner turned out to be a long and nice one. Again a lot of foods and chit-chat then it's almost midnight already. They insisted to drove me home as usual *such a nice people*. But looking at their tired face and considering 2 hours drive in the middle of rainy night, i didn't have a heart to let them. So i decide to stay one more night and went back home on Monday instead, and everybody happy about it.

I headed home on Monday morning, droped by Ky at the station, and later i made another impulse decision. Instead of went home directly, i headed to Den Haag to take my new passport, did some sightseeing, bought some books, and had a nice walks around. The weather seems supporting. It was raining in the morning, but the day were quite sunny and bright though still cold. I really have some fun. I reached home in the afternoon, feeling exhausted yet excited.

Somethings are fun to be enjoyed solitary and impulse decision could also fun when we do it right.


* Posted by 3k4 @ 8:56 PM *

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[Thursday, October 14, 2004]

Today i attend a seminat with title "Water Management, Food Security, and Climate Change". It was very interesting subject because broad range of various subject included inside. First they're talking about the technical to reduce the water use by crop strategy and waste-water use in irrigation. Then it goes to the broader issues such as climate change and conflict & cooperation in water management. It's interesting to see how they present the idea. When it comes face to face with the climate change issue, the presenter said that each nation or person in particular, react in certain way according to their background. We might discuss the same thing, but since we're growing up with different values (economist with all the economics belief, environmentalist with all the environment belief, etc), then what consider as a right or wrong solution also become very different. Things that consider right to certain group of people could be another story for another group. In this case, then maybe we should put in mind that there are no general truth in science since everything depends on the things of its stand point. Remember the "assumption" term on the economics field? It was used as one secret weapon to explain something that was unexplainable.

On the conflict and cooperation of water management subject, it was interesting to found out how water includes a lot of aspect of national sovereignity. Some country try to control water to gain more power, while the other try to control power to gain more water. So in this case, water subject is even broader than just economics and environmental issues. It includes the political side which is even more complicated and make it more complex to be manage. And in the broader scope comes up the issue of cost and benefit, such as why some group of people willing to change their life style for the sake of other people. What would be the benefit of develop countries to reduce its consumption and change the pattern for the sake of less developed countries? It's such an ethical question. A lot of people willing to be part of environmental activity. But when it comes to themselves, sometimes they found it difficult to change. The NIMBY principle, i agree as long as it is Not In My Back Yard. And even if people from develop countries do reduce their consumption, is it mean the products that was not consumpted will be automatically deliver to less-develop countries and give them the benefit? I don't think so.

I really enthustiastic about the discussion. The seminar itself was really exclusive. People from different background of field and organizations were attend. And there is some special guest as a representative of Dutch government. Can you guess who is he? It's Crown Prince Willem Alexander itself!!! When i saw the publication about the seminar, i found it's interesting, but i thought to do it unpurposely, just to fill in my spare time. Now they have find such a complex issues regarding to water management, so there's going to be another seminar/workshop/projects or whatever they call it, to follow up the findings and hopefully would help to formulate a solution. And people who attended today seminar will have a chance to participate again. I am soooo excited about it. Never thought that something that i once decided unintentionally could be so usefull and exciting at the same time.


* Posted by 3k4 @ 8:44 PM *

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[Saturday, October 09, 2004]

It's about 2 weeks passed by since my last posting, or since my arrival from the long trip. Maybe some of you guessed that i was busy to rearrange my life back to normal here, doing this and that, etc, which made me abandon my blog. Well my friends i have to admit that all of those were all wrong. Instead of busy, i have been totally unemployed. I didn't have anything to do, everyday just crazy lazy days, and i think finally i could have my holiday. Yet again, life must get back to normal. And to be honest i still have lots of things to do, one of which is the internship report that go nowhere but chapter one *sigh*.

It's strange if i have to say. Seeing some other blog of friends, i saw that they're being abandoned too. Is this some general symptom that there are some period in our life to be so demotivated to write anything? If that the case, what could be possible explanation exist? In my case, i felt my life recently had become damn too "ordinary" in a way that made me lost ideas dan interest to write anything. And yes, i am enjoying my life back here just like for the first time. Like a de ja vu. Which maybe explain my laziness of blogging because i didn't have such activity once i was here then. Or maybe there is something else, like i am being uncomfortable to allow my inside shell exposed in a way? Some things that happened in the past few weeks had made me questioned about anything. Things that i used to believe, things that surrounded my life, and things that i once consider as a truth. Now it seems everything revealed not in a way i used to think to be. Maybe that the case? Well...i don't know, maybe....it's just maybe.


* Posted by 3k4 @ 3:48 PM *

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